Posts Tagged ‘listening’

Listen to Increase Influence

Author: Diane Hamilton, Date: 4/9/2012

“You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time.” — J.S. Knox

Who do you need to influence and under what circumstances? Perhaps it is a colleague, boss, or one of your employees. Maybe it is a client or customer. There are also many “personal” situations that call for the need to influence (with a spouse, child, or friend).

When faced with the need to influence others, I often see people trying to ‘push’ their position (I have also been guilty of this). We feel compelled to do the talking. “Here’s what I think.” “You’re not listening.” “You don’t understand.” Even if we don’t say these things, we often find ourselves thinking along these lines.

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3 Tips to Overcome the Illusion of Communication

Author: Diane Hamilton, Date: 2/7/2012

Do any of these comments sound familiar?

• “I thought you were going to follow-up on that?”
• “But she should know how to do it; we’ve talked about it at least five times.”
• “That’s not what I heard in the meeting.”

If there is a hint of familiarity in any of these comments, you are not alone. It seems like communication (or lack thereof) is at the heart of many work place conflicts and team challenges. George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” And it is this illusion that creates many difficulties for leaders, team members, and bosses (not to mention the trouble it can cause in one’s personal life!).

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How Open Is Your Door?

Author: Diane Hamilton, Date: 3/15/2011

“An open-door policy doesn’t do much for a closed mind.”
–Bob Nelson, Author of 1001 Ways to Reward Employees
Open Door_illustration
During a recent conversation with a client, I was asked, “How come employees don’t come into my office and ask questions or share their thoughts and concerns? I have an open-door policy.”

I think Bob Nelson’s quote provides the answer in a nutshell. The door may be open, but if no one is listening it slams shut very quickly.

So, how open is your door? Is it open in name only; or, do you create an environment where people are comfortable expressing their concerns, asking questions, providing feedback, and even venting.

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Hold a Mirror Up to the Behavior

Author: Paul Dillenburg, Date: 11/2/2010

In a particularly challenging coaching meeting, I was helping an individual interpret the results from a 360 degree feedback assessment. Throughout the report, this individual was receiving feedback that she doesn’t listen and tends to openly discredit others’ ideas if they do not align with her own. Not only were the ratings she was receiving indicating these were areas for improvement, but the open-ended comments were candidly providing examples.

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